(Based on the Dior Homme Commercial)
You know one of those days you just know things are not gonna work out? You don’t know what it is, right? Call it a woman’s sixth sense, or whatever you like. That was one of those days. She just knew it. Somehow.
It was a Tuesday. A very blahday, if you know what I mean. What is it so special about Tuesdays? Nothing I guess. Right after dreadful Monday, way far from the weekend. It’s a boring day, right? Well, it was just another Tuesday for her. Actually, like all the other days. She’d recently moved to London and just accepted the first job offer out of the hundreds she’d applied for. Needless to say, it wasn’t exactly chief editor of a glossy magazine, as she had wished for. It was just a job.
She’s a writer. At least that’s what she had studied for. English degree, MA in Creative Writing. A whole world of imagination in her mind and great ambitions, perhaps bigger than the ones her own parents had for her. And there she was, working as a sales assistant in a huge shopping centre. But it was temporary.
That day, she had got a bollocking from her boss because of some error with the till. She had nothing to do with that; it hadn’t even happened during her shift. It was that other new girl. That bitch. That tall, “Shard-high-legged” blonde from Brazil. Stunning girl, but still a bitch. Anyway, she just accepted it and in her head sent loads of mean thoughts her way. I bet she even felt a bit dizzy. That day, she couldn’t have cared less.
Hey, she’s not a nasty, mean person, ok? It’s just that it had been the final straw. She’s a fair person and hates those who’ll do anything to get what they want. I know what she wants. She wants a spot in the perfume section, that’s what she wants. And I’m sure she’ll get it. No matter what. Bitch.
Anyway, after she finished work, she went strolling around the shopping centre. She’d always loved to window shop. She could see scenarios for her stories, furniture for her characters’ houses, and she could observe people who would most likely become her next characters. She’d also loved to go to Boots and try on different perfumes; for myself and for my characters, why not?
She got to Boots and went straight to the perfume windows. As she walked in the shop, she passed a Dior stand with a huge black and white poster. She glanced at it and walked past. She hadn’t paid attention to the photo, and that made her go back for a second look.
Oh, my… It is Robert Pattinson, she sighed.
She not only stopped to look, but she kept staring at him.
‘Huummm… Robert Pattinson, eh’, she thought out loud, picking one of those perfume tester strips and spraying loads onto it (and I mean, loads). ‘I wonder what you smell like, you handsome. You could even leave some teeth marks on my neck if you wanted to…’
She closed her eyes, savouring the manly, exquisite sense that started to turn her on. She wanted more of that, so she went on to pick up two, three – Ah, one more -, FOUR more tester strips.
‘I guess I deserve it after the shitty day I had, right,’ her voice came out loud again.
‘Wow, you really like this scent, eh?’ She heard a smoky, honeyed voice behind her.
She turned around quickly, embarrassed by having been caught.
‘Er… I’m just… what the…? Edward?’
‘Edward? He asked, laughing. ‘Well, I was born Robert, but if you want Edward, that’s fine by me. And you are…?’
Nobody would believe her if she told them that she was having that conversation. Actually, she wouldn’t believe it if she told herself!
‘Sophie,’ she replied, super self-conscious. Shit. Is my make-up ok? How about my hair? Breath? Phew! I’ve got bubblemint chewing gum in my mouth.
They looked at each other for a while. He was wearing a dark blue suit, with a white shirt, not all buttoned up. His hair was just on the right side of messy. Stubble. S-E-X-Y.
He smiled again.
‘So… Sophie, I take it that you really like Dior Homme? And that you find me handsome? And that you were wondering what I smell like?’ He asked, spraying himself on the neck and chest.
‘Er… well, yes, but, like, just for fun, you know?’
‘Even that thing about biting your neck?’ He pretended to be disappointed.
She really didn’t know what she was saying anymore. To be honest, she had no idea how much longer she would be able to stand there. Her legs were kind of starting to give in. She was nearly giving in herself. Ready to kiss him on 3…2…
‘Come with me,’ he grabbed her by the hand and literally dragged her, running through Boots, through the corridors, till they got to the lifts.
They stood there, waiting for the lift to arrive. He looked at her sideways, and wow… there was nothing innocent in that look. He held her hand a bit tighter. She thought she was going to faint. Right there.
The lift doors opened and they went in.
‘Which floor, son’’ asked a man who was with his wife.
‘Top floor, please’ Edward, I mean, Robert said.
At that point, she was already gagging for it. What the heck is wrong with me that I haven’t tried to kiss him yet? It is Robert Effing Pattinson!
He put his hand on the small of her back and it sent a delicious shiver up her spine, making her throat tight with longing. She had been reading this book, “Wedding Night”, by Sophie Kinsella, and she was starting to get the idea of how Lottie had felt, being unable to consummate her marriage…
The lift beeped on the third floor and the couple got out. The lift doors closed again. They were alone.
‘Are you hungry,’ he asked.
‘Hungry? You gotta be kidding. I’m in a lift, holding hands with Edward, and you ask me if I’m hungry?’
‘Well, just asking. So… are you?’ He laughed.
‘Listen, the minute you sprayed yourself in Boots I decided that I’m not going to be the good girl my mother taught me to be, ok? At least not tonight. So, yes, I’m super hungry. I’m dying to devour something, and it’s not a plate of pasta, this I am sure.’
‘You naughty, naughty girl…’ he smiled and pushed her to the corner of the lift, holding her hands above her head. His lips touched hers, in a warm, minty and wet kiss… His hands softly went down her neck, then his lips… and all she wanted was “The Bite”. The one bite that would sweep her out of her boring, ordinary life and take her to a fancy, exciting world.
The lift doors open on to the top floor. It was a beautiful starry night and the car park was almost deserted.
He pulled her out and took her to the farther corner of the car park. They were all hands on each other again. Oh, my… these lips, his hands under my skirt, up and down my thighs, touching my breasts… How many hands has he got??? She grabbed his hair and brought his face closer for another breathtaking kiss, while her hands fumbled with his trousers zip.
It was then that she heard a clink. It was like she’d been brought out of a trance or something. She looked around, feeling dizzy and hyperventilating. She was alone in the shopping centre car park. Her car keys had fallen on the floor.
‘Eh…? What…?’ She put her hands on her chest, trying to control her breathing.
Her clothes and hair were a total mess, and she was panting.
She felt so annoyed. How embarrassing. She wondered whether anyone had seen that. Well, had seen anything, since she didn’t know exactly what had happened. She had no idea how long she’d been there for.
‘Sophie, you are out of your mind. You need to do more yoga classes, or any other meditation thingy to help you sort yourself out, woman.’ She told herself walking towards her car.
She got in the car, lit a cigarette and drove off.
I can’t believe it. I even lost those tester strips. Sophie, you idiot. But ah, that smell…Those lips…
She was still daydreaming, driving down the first bend when she saw a silver Volvo driving towards her. She tried to swerve to the left, but it was too late.
That’s all she needed to finish that ugly, ugly day… Some asshole to crash into her car.
‘Hey, what the fuck are you thinking, driving on a bend like that?’, she shouted, getting closer to the Volvo’s driver’s window.
‘I really apologise. I didn’t see you coming. You didn’t have your lights on,’ he said, trying to be polite.
It was then that Sophie looked better inside the car. She moved back, so the man would come out. He smiled and asked:
‘Hi… are you ok? Are you hurt?’
Sophie shook her head a couple of times, feeling dizzy again.
‘Well, I was born Robert, but if you want Edward, that’s fine by me. And you are…?’